Baseball season is underway! My bumbling beloved Baltimore Orioles opened the year by taking two of three from those loathsome Yankees. Although hope springs eternal, I worry it might have been the high point of their season.

I was goofy for baseball cards as a kid, so my head nearly exploded when I found GlyphJockey’s Rock n’ Punk Baseball Stars! They’re like the answer to an equation: what I was into in the ’80s + what I was obsessed with in the ’90s + my favorite thing now = this hilarious combo of nostalgia, baseball, rock, and graphic design. (Oh, and don’t miss the Neil Young hockey card. Wow.)

So do I get a brittle stick of powdered pink chewing gum with these or are they soaked in acid so I can nibble off bits of my “doubles”?